So I have a hard time talking to people about my problems in hope of finding a solution and I’m also very reluctant to open up to people. Because of this there have only been two people who I’ve trusted to discuss my problems with. One was a doctor I had in CAMHS (a mental health service for children and teens). Although I’ve seen four different specialists there I’ve only felt I could really open up to one. He was the one who always went above and beyond for me and always listened to my concerns. The other three all literally tried to get me off their books as soon as possible (even my parents thought it too). Now that doctor has moved away and I’m no longer treated by CAMHS (or anyone). The other person was my mum. I know it sounds mean but I’m not able to talk to my dad for a few reasons. First of all were like minded, so we can never come up with other solutions. He is also a bloke so he doesn’t understand the relationships between girls. Another reason is he get’s stressed out very easily, then I get stressed out with him till we have an argument.
But the other day I had an incident with some girls in school and because I was having a low day I was easily upset. So I rang my mum and spoke to her for awhile. She then thought that since I had no more lessons it was best for me to come home early. But now my mum has got some big campaign and wants meetings with my year head. I’ve had various meetings with many different people in the school including the head teacher. But none of it’s worked. I’ve told my mum I don’t want to go but she says if I do then I must be making it up. So now I’m stuck between a rock and hard place.
All this has made me feel like the only person I could talk to, my mum, is gone. Because if talk to her that it doesn’t matter what I want she’s going to make do what she thinks is best.