Getting A Life Back

When my depression has been at it’s worst I’ve self harmed. Unfortunatly these have know left me with a number of scars at the bottom of my arms. At first I wasn’t to bothered about them but the more people have asked and whispered about them the more I’ve become ashamed. It is now at the point where I always were long sleeves even in summer. Just before my prom in summer 2012 my mum took me to a make up shop where they found a type of concealer that helps cover up scars, it had two pitfalls though.
1. It was very expensive
2. it comes off easily and I have to keep on reapplying it
So it’s something I’ve only been able to use on special occasions.

But as I was getting assessed in August by my GP to see how my metal health was going and she saw how much my scars controlled my life. So she refereed me to the dermatologist, who then referred me to a charity called changing faces that helps people learn how to cover up any problems with the skin with make up available through the NHS. The woman there was lovely and she helped find what would help cover up my scars and taught me how to apply the cream. When we got to the end of the appointment I couldn’t hold back any more and I actually started crying. I couldn’t believe I could have my life back with a 20 minute routine in the morning. But then the woman gave me even better news. She told me that the make up stays on for about 2-3 days and it is waterproof.

Today I received I cream and I was over the moon. I can’t wait till tomorrow when I go out with my friends as because although they know about the scars and don’t judge I’ll be free. I will be able to go into any shop and find a top or dress that I like without having to worry whether it will cover my scars or if I’ve got a cardie that will go with it. Or I can just walk around with wondering wit people will say when they see my arms. I can do anything or can wear anything. I don’t have to spend my life worrying now because I have my life back.

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4 thoughts on “Getting A Life Back

  1. So great to hear from you Abbie. I may not have many visible scars which show to the world, other than surgeries or clumsiness which resulted in scars. Actually, if a line was drawn connecting my scars together on my belly, I would have the constellation of the Big Dipper. The scars that I’m ashamed of are internal. They may not be as visible to others, but I have learned to live with them and not let the opinions, or the perceived judgments of others make me feel bad. I am so happy that you found something that will help you continue with the progress you have made. You seem to be a very beautiful person, I hope you know that.

    • Internal scars are the hardest to heal and deal with, never be ashamed of them though as they show you how far you’ve come and how strong you are. Thank for your comment April 🙂

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